Rewriting the Narratives That Shape Us

We are storytelling creatures. It’s how we make sense of the world, how we connect, how we remember where we’ve been, and how we imagine where we’re going. The narratives we carry—about who we are, what’s possible, and how the world works—are powerful. Some of these narratives are wings. They lift us up, help us grow, keep us moving forward. Others? They are walls. They keep us small, tethered to old fears that no longer serve us.

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Coaching is, at its heart, an invitation to examine these narratives. Not just to question them, but to play with them. To stretch them, soften them, rewrite them so they actually fit the person we are becoming.

What Is Narrative Coaching?

Narrative coaching is the art of recognizing, understanding, and reshaping the stories we tell ourselves. These narratives often take root early, setting the course for how we approach challenges, relationships, and our own sense of worth.

In coaching, narrative work unfolds in three key movements:

1. Awareness – Noticing the dominant narratives at play.
2. Reflection – Asking where they came from, whether they’re true, and how they shape our lives.
3. Transformation – Rewriting them in a way that aligns with who we are now and where we want to go.

Why This Matters

The narratives we hold dictate how we move through the world. They determine whether we see obstacles or opportunities, whether we shrink or expand, whether we stay stuck or take the next brave step forward. By working with their stories, clients can:

• Break free from outdated, limiting beliefs.
• Claim a stronger sense of self and purpose.
• Navigate transitions with clarity and confidence.
• Step into a future built on possibility rather than fear.

How to Coach for Narrative Change

1. Surface the Narrative

Before we can change a story, we have to name it. Clients’ narratives often show up in phrases like:

• “I always…”
• “I’m the kind of person who…”
• “People like me don’t…”
• “This always happens to me…”

Ask:

• “What’s the story you’re telling yourself about this?”
• “Where did this story come from?”

2. Explore Its Impact

Once we hold a narrative up to the light, we can examine what it’s actually doing.

Ask:

• “How does this story make you feel? What does it encourage you to do—or not do?”
• “If this story weren’t true, what might be possible?”

3. Challenge the Narrative

Not all stories are facts. Some were handed to us. Some we outgrew. Some we never agreed to in the first place.

Ask:

• “What evidence do you have that this story is true? What evidence do you have that it’s not?”
• “How might someone else—someone who loves you—see this differently?”

4. Rewrite the Narrative

Now comes the good part. Clients get to shape a new story—one that is generous, expansive, and deeply theirs.

Prompt:

• “What’s a more empowering narrative you could step into?”
• Exercise: Have them write or say their new story aloud. Words spoken become real.

5. Anchor the New Narrative in Action

A story gains power when we live it. Encourage clients to take tangible steps that reflect their new perspective.

Ask:

• “What’s one action you can take this week to embody this narrative?”

Tools for Narrative Change

The Narrative Audit

A structured reflection exercise where clients examine their key life narratives.

• “Where did this story come from?”
• “Does it serve me or limit me?”
• “What do I want to keep, and what do I want to let go?”

The Hero’s Journey Framework

Use Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey as a lens to help clients reframe their struggles as part of a larger arc of growth, challenge, and transformation.

Narrative Rewriting Exercise

Guide clients to rewrite a limiting story with a more liberating one.

• Old narrative: “I always fail when I try something new.”
• New narrative: “Every time I try something new, I learn and grow.”

Future Narrative Visualization

Help clients imagine the story they want to be living five years from now.

Prompt: “If you were living your ideal narrative, what would it feel like? Who would you be?”

Common Challenges in Narrative Coaching

Deeply Embedded Narratives

Some stories are stitched into identity and may feel immovable.

Solution: Approach with curiosity and compassion. Narratives are not set in stone. They evolve as we do.

Resistance to Rewriting

Clients may feel attached to their old stories, even when they don’t serve them.

Solution: Ask what the story is protecting them from. Often, we hold onto narratives because they feel familiar and safe.

Struggling to Live the New Narrative

Sometimes, the story is rewritten, but the old habits remain.

Solution: Focus on small, meaningful actions. Real change happens in steps, not leaps.

Advanced Applications of Narrative Coaching

Leadership Development

Many leaders carry outdated narratives about what leadership “should” look like. Coaching helps them challenge old scripts and lead with authenticity.

Navigating Transitions

Major life changes require rewriting narratives about identity and purpose. Narrative coaching provides a map for navigating these shifts with confidence.

Overcoming Impostor Syndrome

Many clients struggle with the story that they are “not enough.” Narrative work helps them reclaim their strengths and rewrite the script.

Final Thought

Stories are powerful. They can build us or break us. They can open doors or keep us trapped in rooms we no longer belong in.

As a coach, you have the extraordinary privilege of helping clients see the stories that no longer fit, challenge the ones that keep them small, and rewrite the ones that bring them fully to life.

Because when a client changes their narrative, they don’t just change their perspective.

They change everything.

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